Parents of schoolchildren take note! The subject of school reports!
A few thoughts on the not-so-easy subject of school reports. I don't normally ask parents to read my texts or watch videos. But please do this time.
It is of course desirable for parents to know how their children are doing at school during the school year. But sometimes you still get caught out when you look at the school reports.
Rule number 1: No generally derogatory sentences such as: "What are you going to become?" or "You're good for nothing!" Such sentences are not only deeply hurtful, they are also frustrating and in no way serve to energise your child to do better in the next school year.
The same applies to any blanket bans that are quickly thrown out. "Grounded for a fortnight!", "No mobile phones for four weeks!", "No more computers!" It may be absolutely necessary to make corrections, i.e. curb consumption, especially when it comes to media, but please don't do it in (report card) anger and please don't impose a general ban.
In any case, it is important that you try to be authentic. You can also show your child that you are disappointed: "This or that disappoints me, I have more faith in you." The important thing is that you engage in constructive and objective dialogue with the child and look for solutions as to how things can be done differently. And it's very important to keep telling your child that school is only a small part of life - and that there are lots of areas in which they do great things, develop really well, etc.
That's why I think it's a great idea to write your child a report with (everyday) skills that you think are great about your child. I can only encourage you to do this and give this special report to your child on report card day.
And then it is also important to let things sink in, possibly consult with the school to see if there are any suggestions for improvement, or make a resolution to seek help for the new school year. Be it through tutoring or coaching or by consulting us doctors.
The central message must be simple: love is not linked to performance. We have to keep reminding ourselves of this. And the most important thing is that the children get this message - and feel it authentically. And then the report cards won't be too bad.
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