What to do if your baby is always crying

It's the old chicken and egg question: is the child crying more because the tummy hurts or is the child crying so much and swallowing so much air that the tummy is distended? Bloating and abdominal pain certainly play a role, but they are also overestimated.

As a general rule, babies who cry a lot should be examined again by a paediatrician to rule out an organic cause, in addition to the check-ups that take place at four weeks, four months and six months anyway. It is also very important for parents to be advised by a paediatrician. This is because almost everyone quickly becomes very stressed and worried when their baby cries too much and needs to be supported/coached in an empathetic and appreciative manner.

But how much crying is "too much" crying? We speak of a regulation disorder when a baby cries for more than three hours a day on at least three days a week and this continues for at least three weeks. Up to the age of 3 months, this applies to around 15 per cent of all babies; by the age of six months, the figure is just under three per cent.

Unfortunately, there are no clear causes. It is assumed that there are simply babies who are less able to self-regulate than others and who are perhaps also more sensitive to noises or disturbances in their environment. Crying is a baby's only means of communication for a long time. This means that a baby cries when it is hungry or in pain, when it is too cold or too warm, when it is bored, when it can't get to sleep ... And it is completely normal that parents often need time to understand this communication properly.

Unfortunately, there is often a vicious circle: parents become restless, worried and therefore hectic and the baby, who is actually crying (i.e. demanding) to be soothed, becomes even more restless because it senses the parental distress and insecurity with fine antennae. The result: it cries even more and the parents become even more insecure ...

That's why the top priority is to keep calm and radiate calm. This is very simple in theory, but extremely difficult in practice. Here is a guide: don't make too many, constantly changing attempts to calm the baby down, don't carry the baby this way or that, don't run back and forth, etc. This is usually counterproductive. This is usually counterproductive. Instead: lie down, place the crying baby on your chest, endure the crying, talk to the child from time to time in a calm, confident voice and maintain physical contact. If this is successful, there is a good chance that the baby will increasingly learn to regulate itself.

However, it is also clear that parents can only act in this way if they themselves are in a good mood and well rested, are not overworked and are not worried about their baby's well-being. It is therefore no less important to build up a social network, a support system. Ideally, this could be grandparents or friends who you trust to look after the baby from time to time so that you have time to relax yourself. Or you can get help from an organisation such as WELLCOME or FRÜHEN HILFEN, whose employees come to the family and provide hourly relief. Support in whatever form is the most important thing.

The good news at the end: Normally, every baby gets better little by little. And if your first child was a cry baby, that's no reason to panic about the next pregnancy.

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