Good consolation: "don't queue" or duzi-duzi?
Anger, sadness, pain, despair - there are many moments when children need comforting. And because the whole thing is not as trivial as you might think at first, here are the most important tips on giving comfort.
From its origins, the word comfort means to encourage or strengthen. And it is important that parents constantly remind themselves what it means for a child to be comforted. It means that the child is strengthened and encouraged to endure or bear certain things in life in the future.
One point to bear in mind when it comes to comforting is the individuality of the child. The pain threshold, for example, varies greatly. For one child, an abrasion is a reason for real comfort and a few minutes in the arm, for another child it is enough to blow briefly and that's it. So the important questions are: How is my child structured? What does it need at the moment?
This is always a certain balancing act between adequate comforting and cuddling, but parents and child simply have to find this out together.
Absolute no-gos are sentences like: "Oh, it doesn't hurt at all", "An Indian knows no pain" or "Boys don't cry". This is out of date and shouldn't be said - and of course was wrong in the past too.
What also often happens and should be taken into account: If a child is distressed, feels distressed because they have done something that the parents had warned them about or that the parents knew beforehand would not work out - then you still need to show adequate emotional and affectionate comfort. Smart remarks along the lines of "That's what happens when you don't listen" or "I told you so" really don't help at all.
When children are in despair because something didn't work out, they usually know very well that they didn't do such a good job and that they should probably have listened to their parents. In the actual moment of despair, they therefore don't need such an announcement at all. What they need is support and comfort from their parents. This strengthens them, encourages them and makes them strong for life.
Further interesting tips
Self-harming behaviour II
A difficult, stressful topic: self-harming behaviour or scratching. The doc gives us the most important facts in a nutshell. For anyone who would like to read more, here is a link to an interview that the child and adolescent psychiatrist Frank Köhnlein gave to the Swiss parents' magazine "Fritz und Fränzi".
Death and mourning
When there is a bereavement in the immediate family, parents often have many worries and uncertainties about how to deal with their children in this situation, in addition to their own grief. Doc talked to Gabriele Schmidt-Klehring, who has been offering bereavement counselling for children and young people in Schorndorf for over 20 years, about what needs to be considered.
Mouth fungus
For many, there is always room for a pilsner between the liver and spleen. In babies, unfortunately, there is often room for a troublesome fungus between the tongue and cheek. But don't worry: we can get it under control with a few simple measures.