What should I do if my child hurts themselves?
A difficult, stressful topic: self-harming behaviour or scratching. The doc gives us the most important facts in a nutshell. For anyone who would like to read more, here is a link to an interview that the child and adolescent psychiatrist Frank Köhnlein gave to the Swiss parents' magazine "Fritz und Fränzi".
The most important facts in brief:
Why do teenagers scratch? There is no general answer, but there are a few main factors that can be identified: very often, young people feel a huge amount of emotional stress and pressure and scratching brings them relief. Very often there is also a major self-esteem problem behind the behaviour, so scratching is a kind of self-punishment. In addition, this kind of behaviour can also have a strong appealing, i.e. inviting character along the lines of "Look, I'm in need, I need help!".
It is therefore extremely important that we adults and parents take these signs seriously. This means that if we recognise that our child has a relevant issue here, then we need to talk to the child or young person about it. This dialogue should always be respectful. We should express our concern and not come around the corner with accusations or wild phrases and say things like "What are you doing? Look at your arm! It's all covered in scars!" The young people know that themselves. We have to realise that: The young person who is scratching (it's usually girls) has no better solution at that moment. The scratching is what she needs - even if it is incredibly distressing and incomprehensible for us adults.
So: talk to them in an appreciative way, express your concerns, don't reproach them. And of course, and this is very important, contact the paediatrician and clarify the extent to which therapy is needed and what this might look like.
Here is the link to the interview: www.fritzundfraenzi.ch/gesundheit/selbstverletzungen-nichts-entspannt-wie-der-schmerz/
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