How do I talk to children about war?
One topic that I would not have liked to have dealt with: talking to children about war. This is a topic, similar to death, where there is no one right way. Because everyone is different, deals with such topics differently and, of course, age also has a big influence. Nevertheless, there are a few basic aspects.
First and foremost: take the child seriously! Take their fears and worries seriously. It's easy for us adults to say something along the lines of "Oh, you don't need to be scared!". But unfortunately that doesn't help at all. Children, no matter how old they are, have fears and worries. They are aware of what is happening in the world at the moment. And that's why we have to take them and all their feelings and thoughts seriously.
In this context, it is also important that we dose our own anxiety, so to speak. It doesn't help if we pretend to the child that we are completely chilled and not worried at all. The child senses that this issue is also bothering us. On the other hand, we shouldn't share our darkest and deepest thoughts with the child either. We should talk about this with other adults.
To summarise: Children want adults to give them a framework with a mature emotional attitude in which they can feel safe and secure with their fears.
In concrete terms, this means that we need to have an open ear. We have to answer questions - when they come, even if it is perhaps awkward at the time. If we manage to do this, we have already achieved a great deal.
It is also very, very important that the use of (social) media is very controlled and that parents keep an eye on it. The younger the child is, the more important it is that they are not alone when they are confronted with images that can unsettle or shake them.
Another very important point is that we also try to see the positive things or counter fears and worries with positive measures. This can sometimes be very simple with children: Lighting a candle together, painting a picture or writing a letter to a (fictitious) child living in a war zone. And as a family, you should also focus on the good things: playing a game together, watching a film, reading a book or even going out for an ice cream. Then the worries fade into the background, at least temporarily, and that is very, very important for the children's mental balance.
Here are a few more link tips relating to media consumption ...
... for children: Sendung mit der Maus, Logo
... for teenagers: MrWissen2go
... for parents: Flimmo (guide for TV, streaming, YouTube)
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